Teenage Stress Rant

     I'm going to start this with I'm probably not going to college, maybe I will a few years after school is finished but I have very little interest in going at the moment. I'm in 5th year which means I  have less than a year and a half until college time, about a year to make the decisions of what I want to do in college, that is I would have if I wasn't repeating the year. So in this final year before college applications have to be in, which is quite a daunting thought, the idea of having to choose your future at the age of 16 or 17, we have to go through a whole lot of college talk, like shitloads, last week we had 'careers day' in which 40 speakers almost all from various colleges around Dublin (some were reps for the college, others pupils, past and present) came into us and talked mainly about how amazing such-and-such college was and how diverse it was in courses or how fascinating such-and-such course is, today we went to UCD campus and had a talk and a tour there and it was a pleasant enough day. BUT I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT FUCKING COLLEGE, I AM SIXTEEN YEARS OLD, THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE WHAT I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT RIGHT NOW. This is when we're meant to be enjoying ourselves, they say that these are the best years of our lives, I doubt the truth in that, the stress we're put under is absolutely ridiculous, I'm not overly prone to getting stressed out but this year I've been so stressed that there have been times that I couldn't cope any more, most of those times I just stayed home or whatever and got suspended when I got caught, the work was easier than in class, it actually isn't that bad, I mean you have to sit in one place and do the booklets you get given in the morning but they don't actually check so you do what you want mainly (this is internal suspension btw, I had to stay in school)


     I found this in my drafts from a couple months ago when I last got suspended (around Easter I do believe), I have begun to change my mind about going to college now but this is still extremely relevant. It's unfinished but I'm not pissed of enough to rant about it so this what you're getting, I've only skimmed through it so there may be unfinished points throughout and for that I do apologize but I don't care enough to fix them.
     Ruska

Bored in Loviisa

     I've come back to this as I have quite literally nothing to do, it is 11:07 pm Finnish time and my grandmother is asleep in the other room so I can't do anything too noisy but my body is still on Irish time so it is convinced that it's only 9pm, which gives me at least 7 more waking hours with my normal sleeping schedule, which in Finnish time is 6am, a mere half hour before my grandmother wakes up and starts moving around and not more than 2 hours after that she wakes me, this morning she woke me pretty late, at nine (which my body still takes as 7am and does not like at all), but with this heat I find it even more difficult to sleep than before, the house is at a steady 26 degrees Celsius through out the summer, which, at night is ten degrees and during the day about 2 degrees above the temperature outside, which I find ridiculous and uncomfortable. I have no problem with it being hot outside, I'm totally fine with it, like it even, as long as escape the heat somewhat when I go inside rather than sweat more. I imagine I'll spend more time writing on this over the course of this coming week as in the two days I've spent here I've done essentially all there is to do in Loviisa when you've been returning to the same place once or twice a year for the past 17 years.
     Loviisa a small town about 90km from Helsinki (which is Finland's capital if you were wondering). With a total population of almost 16000 (which means the entire population of Loviisa could fit into Croke park more than 5 times)  and four traffic lights (all of them operational I believe) it's fucking tiny and, from the point of view of someone who has been returning to it regularly for the past 17 years, it's really fucking boring. I have some cousins-once-removed  that are a couple of year younger than me that I usually spend the majority of my time with but they left for their mökki (summer cottage) today so they won't be around anymore. Loviisa is picturesque and lovely looking but there isn't much to do so I'm going to spend most of time eating and lazing around which I usually wouldn't object to as it is most of what I do with my life anyway but the whole limited internet connection and heat preventing me from getting the already meager amount of sleep I get is really making everything kinda shitty (except food, food is never shitty, I'm eating about twice as much as usual at the moment, which is quite a feat let me tell you) I have to move to a place that I haven't heated up with my body heat and sweat yet so I'm gonna sign off, sorry about the probable incomprehensibility of this, my brain functionality isn't at it's best right now.
     Ruska