Ramble

     So when I started school it was ok, I didn't mind having a lot of homework and being a little lost in most subjects because then you at least have a challenge but now, a month in, I just don't give a shit anymore. I was doing well at the start of the year, still am really, haven't gotten into any trouble really, only in the comments book once or twice but I just can't be bothered anymore. I just want to get out of that shithole with stupid  rules which are completely irrelevant to learning. I love learning about things, I love knowing about history, I like getting a hard maths question and being able to solve it, I really do. I don't like school though, not being able to learn in the way I want to, having to obey stupid rules, wearing an uncomfortable uniform, tests. I kind of want to drop out of school altogether but I can't, not really. I mean technically I can but in reality my parents wouldn't let me, ever. All I do these days is write, read, draw and listen to or play music, I'm not even online all that much anymore, like obviously I'm on a fair bit but way less than I used to. It's really depressing, I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I haven't been eating properly either, I've had  one meal a day for about a week, I don't think that's helping at all. I just feel like shit most of the time, especially for the last few days, I'm getting really sick of it. I'm going to try to feel better again but it's kinda tricky. One thing that does make me really happy is that my friend from my Finland, Lilja, is definitely coming to visit in less than a month, I really can't wait to see her, I miss her loads. Just thinking about that makes me happier. It was Weronika's birthday on Wednesday and nothing much was done but we're getting a birthday tomorrow and I made her a card (which she doesn't know about yet so I hope she doesn't see this). I dunno I'm in a weird mood at the moment, sorry if this shit but deal with it.